


With You

by pierrot



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28351488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pierrot/pseuds/pierrot
Summary: Sometimes Chenle felt like a mystery Kun wasn't sure he wanted to solve.
Relationships: Qian Kun/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	With You

On the fourth day of Kun’s self-imposed exile, Ten tried to intervene.

“This is pathetic,” he said, standing in the doorway of Kun’s bedroom. “I can’t believe you’re actually moping. When’s the last time you even went outside?”

Kun had decided at some point that it was helping his creativity to lie with his head at the foot of his bed, so he had to crane his neck around to actually look at Ten. The effort wasn’t really worth it just to be able to see the judgmental look on Ten’s face. His voice conveyed that perfectly well already.

“I don’t need to go outside,” replied Kun. “I just need to stay here, by myself, until I go back to normal. Then everything will be fine and normal, and I can forget the past few weeks even happened.” 

“That sounds like bullshit.”

Kun sighed and closed his eyes. What would Ten know anyway?

“Hey, don’t ignore me. I’ll drag you out of this room if I have to.”

“No you won’t.”

“I will.” Ten moved closer, his slippers making scuffling noises across the wooden floor. “Don’t try me. I’m not afraid to pull your hair if I need to.”

Kun didn’t doubt him. He cracked one eye open and peered up at Ten’s face hovering above. “Leave me alone or I’ll tell Doyoung you said his fillers looked cheap.”

“Tell him. I don’t care.”

“Fine. Then I’ll tell him you had a crush on him when we were trainees.”

“First of all, that’s not even true. And second—really? You want to start bringing up crushes right now? Because if you want to have that conversation, I will have that conversation with you.”

Kun really, really didn’t want that. Ten knew Kun didn’t want that.

“Fine,” Kun said, completely defeated. “If I promise to make everyone dinner, will you leave me alone?”

Ten frowned. “That’s now why I came in here.” He stared at Kun for a long moment before letting his frown soften. “But whatever. I suppose it’s better than nothing. Yangyang wants beef by the way.”

Ten left, and the room returned to peaceful stillness. Kun closed his eyes once more.

\--

On the sixth day, Chenle called him.

Kun didn’t pick up at first. He watched his phone vibrate on the wooden surface of his computer desk and waited for it to stop. After the display went black, Chenle’s name disappearing from the screen, he continued to stare. His fingers still itched to pick it up.

His phone started ringing again.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing?” asked Chenle, sounding as bright and cheerful as the last time Kun saw him.

Kun was not prepared to respond with a lie. “Nothing, nothing. Just… trying to work on a song.”

“That can wait, right? Come over! You haven’t been here in ages and I’m sick of Haechan.”

Through the phone, Kun heard a muffled noise of protest. Presumably that was Haechan, annoyed by the slight. Kun listened to them banter for a bit. He could picture the two of them clearly: Haechan pouting, eyes wide with indignation, and Chenle returning fire with a playful smile.

He realised in that moment he missed Chenle enough to make a stupid decision.

“Sure, I’ll come over,” he said, once the chaos on the other end subsided. “Nine isn’t too late, is it? I need to shower.”

“I don’t care if you’re stinky.”

“I care.”

Haechan muttered something then, too low for Kun to make out. “What was that?” he asked Chenle.

“Huh? Oh, nothing.” There was another pause then, some further muffled whispering that had Kun feeling left out. “Sorry, Haechan’s being annoying,” Chenle said. “Come over whenever, okay?”

“Is Haechan staying?” Kun asked, not sure of what he wanted the answer to be.

“Nah, he’s going home now. _Yes, you are_. He’s just— _because I said so, that’s why._ ”

“I don’t mind if he wants to stay.”

“That’s nice, but I mind. I’m a jealous person, you know. I don’t want Haechan hogging all your attention when I haven’t seen you all week.”

“Oh. Um—”

“I’ll see you soon, yeah? Don’t keep me waiting too long.”

\--

Prior to Chenle calling him, Kun would have said the last thing he needed was to be alone with Chenle in his apartment. He felt relieved, however, to find Chenle was by himself when he arrived. Kun didn’t think he could bear to face Chenle’s mama with thoughts of how he’d pictured defiling her son running through his mind. All he needed to handle was how to face Chenle himself.

“Tea?” asked Chenle.

Kun nodded. This was a routine that was easy enough to follow. He took his usual seat at the small dining room table while Chenle moved into the kitchen. Directly across from Kun was a small, glass cabinet, shelves laden with various keepsakes: decorative bowls, crystal figurines, a couple of lucky cats. He always liked to look for any new additions.

Today the only change he noted was a new photo of Chenle amongst the collection arranged neatly on the top shelf. It must have been taken recently; Chenle was clutching Daegal close to his chest, his face turned down to look at her with a sweet smile. He looked happy.

“Where’s Daegal?” Kun asked, tearing his gaze away from the photo.

“She’s resting. I think Haechan tired her out.”

“Haechan’s over here a lot it seems.”

As he spoke, Kun felt bitterness rise in his throat. He tried to push it down.

“Haechan… Haechan just comes for the puppy. And to play games. I thought about telling him to stop coming over so much, but he buys me food sometimes so I’m allowing it for now.”

Chenle approached the table with two cups in his hands, passing one over to Kun before taking the seat opposite. Just before lifting the cup to his lips he said, “I like it better when you come over though.”

Kun almost choked on his tea. He swallowed, carefully, and set his cup down. “Are you sure?” he said, forcing a smile on his lips to make his attempt at sounding teasing sound more believable. “Aren’t I just… boring, old Kun.”

Chenle frowned. “Why would you say that? I don’t think you’re boring. Or old.”

Kun could point out that Chenle had in fact called him both boring and old before. It was never malicious, always said with a teasing lilt and followed by happy laughter when Kun responded the way he wanted, huffing and complaining about Chenle’s lack of respect.

Still, he never forgot. There was some truth to it after all.

Chenle looked down at his tea, still frowning. He seemed to need a moment to think before lifting his head to meet Kun’s gaze once more.

“People change, you know. I’m not just some careless little kid anymore.”

Kun’s voice was soft when he responded. “I know that.”

“Do you?”

\--

Whether advisable or not, Kun became a regular fixture at Chenle’s apartment over the next week. It was for Chenle’s sake, Kun rationalised to himself. All of Chenle’s relatives were in Shanghai for some family events. Chenle didn’t deserve to be left all alone just because Kun couldn’t get his shit together.

Not that Chenle was really alone without Kun there. Even though the novelty of Daegal’s irresistible cuteness had waned, he still had a steady stream of visitors happy to drop in with hardly any notice. Kun was just one of the many.

“You’re still my favourite,” Chenle told him one night after Kun cracked a joke about his impressive popularity.

Kun was good at compartmentalising. He’d shoved every difficult feeling he had into a box and put it aside for a better time. Until then, he could play his role perfectly. He was the dutiful big brother providing Chenle with friendship, nothing more.

He thought that, at least, but sometimes it was difficult.

Chenle was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, leaning against Kun’s legs, letting Kun play with his hair even though he rarely accepted much physical affection. It was late, they were both tired, and now Chenle was saying things he shouldn’t if Kun wanted any hope of keeping the box with his feelings contained.

In the vulnerability of the moment, Kun let himself slip. “Why?” he asked.

Chenle looked up at him, head tilting back against his lap. Part of his hair fell across his eyes and Kun gently brushed it out of the way.

“Do I need a reason?”

Kun stilled his fingers. Sometimes the hardest part of being friends with Chenle was how easily he seemed to pass through life. Worry was pointless, and feelings were what they were. He made decisions based on what he wanted and went through with them without looking back.

On better days, Kun admired that about Chenle. On worse, he envied him bitterly. And then there were times he just felt frustrated.

“Maybe I need a reason,” Kun said.

Chenle stared at him, unwavering. The look in his eyes betrayed nothing, and maybe that was truly the hardest part of being Chenle’s friend. Chenle spoke so freely but in moments such as this, when it felt as though they were teetering on the edge of _something_ , Kun couldn’t read him at all.

Chenle shifted, letting his head roll away from Kun’s lap so they were no longer facing. For a second, Kun thought Chenle was about to get up and leave him but he only pressed closer. His cheek felt warm against Kun’s thigh.

“I like this,” said Chenle. “Having you here, drinking tea, just sitting together like this. Sometimes when I’m here by myself I’ll think, ‘I wish Kun was here right now.’ And then when you’re here I’ll think, ‘This is good. I’m glad Kun is here.’”

He turned again to look back up at Kun. “Don’t you feel that way too?”

Kun’s voice caught in his throat. “Yeah,” he said after a beat. “I like being here too.”

“With me?”

“With you.”

“Good,” Chenle said as he snuggled back against Kun. “Being happy is important.”


End file.
